I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I just want nice things and good sex
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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