Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
