tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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