I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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