you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize