when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
