I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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