im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize