8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
