Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
