I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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