he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
