i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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