Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i was born a porn star she said
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Randomize
