his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Randomize
