there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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