U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize
