Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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