And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
