do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
