Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
