Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
