On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
