names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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