i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
