Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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