Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
