Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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