Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
