You just made me feel so damn special
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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