Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize