She said her name was "party"
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize