If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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