what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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