at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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