She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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