i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
