What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
