Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
