Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
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