Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
