we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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