everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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