Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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