So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize