How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
