dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
im holly from the hills drunk
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
