I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
