Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
