I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
