perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
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