I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
