Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
sarcasm needs its own font
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
