I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
