You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
