drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
