On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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