shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
