Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
