I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
