Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
