I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
