Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
