Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
