My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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